Trading In My Shame For God’s Mercies

/ April 30, 2015

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Sometimes food feels more like my enemy then my friend. Usually I love grocery shopping and cooking.

But this isn’t always the case.

I forgot why I was in the grocery store. Come to think of it, I don’t think I really had a list of things to get on paper or in my head. I roamed from aisle to aisle stopping here and there staring.

When I made it to the produce section I grabbed some lettuce, a few tomatoes, an onion, and then stood in one place asking myself what’s next? My feet felt heavy and I leaned on my cart feeling depressed because there were too many choices to make. My diet will not allow me to enjoy all the delicious food around me.

Slowly walking by the chips I fail to keep my eyes off of them. I really shouldn’t buy them since I can’t seem to keep a bag around for more than a day.

I grabbed a large family size bag of chips anyway and start eating them while walking around the store. I close the bag to stop eating, take a few steps, open it up again, grab a few more and close the bag, open again and I don’t stop.

When I get to my car I put a knot on the grocery bag to make it hard to get to the bag of chips, but I did anyway while I was driving home and when I arrived the bag was over half empty.  I felt shame overtake me and a feeling of hopelessness because I failed again to take care of myself.

This happened twelve years ago on a regular basis when I was single. You may be asking what’s the big deal Lisa and I understand that one may wonder why, so please hear me out here. I know we all have times where we just go crazy over a bag of chips, candy or cookies. I think that munchies and cravings are normal from time to time, but dear readers what I’m sharing with you is not normal. This is about my personal battle with shame and overeating. It’s about me depending on God to help me grow closer to who He made me to be.

I still have episodes like this today and I’m not sure why. I just know that I don’t like it when I do. This is a hard struggle for me, I’m seeking counsel and answers to why I behave like this. In the meantime I’m trying to not condemn myself or live in guilt. I believe God will help me overcome and I don’t think He wants me to live in shame. He is a loving Father that desires for us to be confident.

Feeling shame doesn’t help me with my eating issues and I find comfort in knowing that God doesn’t keep a record of my rights or wrongs. He doesn’t reject me or punish me because I over eat. Instead He wants me to live in grace and love myself.

If you feel bad about yourself, remember that God’s Mercies are new for us every Morning. He is on our side and He only has good things to say about us.   He wants us to seek Him and not hide like Adam or Eve.

If you struggle with shame – please join me today in trading it in for Gods mercies.

Psalm 40:11-12(ESV)

11 As for you, O Lord, you will not restrain  your mercy from me; your steadfast love and your faithfulness will ever preserve me! 12 For evils have encompassed me beyond number; my iniquities have overtaken me, and I cannot see; they are more than the hairs of my head; my heart fails me.

We all struggle from time to time with an unwanted behavior. Most of the time change happens when we understand why we do what we do.   God will not leave us to defend for ourselves. I let God show me my weaknesses and false beliefs. I ask Him to deliver me and teach me why I handle food the way I do. He gives me understanding a little bit at a time.

Today He is showing me to not hide in shame. He embraces me with His everlasting arms and He allows me to make mistakes.

Maybe you struggle with food issues or maybe it’s something else. I want to encourage you today to take one step at a time. Don’t lean on your own understanding to figure it all out. Instead lean on Him to guide you.

In the near future it is my hope to have a series about overcoming food issues with God’s help. I sense that this is really a difficult topic for most writers to write about because like me they struggle with shame. If that is you, please know that God loves you right where you are. Any insight you may have about food issues may be what a reader needs to read. You may be the vessel that God chooses to use to help someone else.

Please consider sharing your story and writing a blog post for this series. You can find out more about this by watching the following video.  If interested please email me – lisadesign@comcast.net

https://youtu.be/vftkZvE6114

*Linking up with Suzie Eller’s #LiveFreeThursday. Come join us and be inspired.

Equipping Godly Women

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23 thoughts on “Trading In My Shame For God’s Mercies”

    • Hi Janis I sure did find you on Facebook. I look forward to working with you too. I have some ideas I want to talk to you about. I’ll email you!!!!

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  2. “Do you have your exit buddy?” I have found that I need an exit buddy when I have to go to the store. My husband is a great shopper and it really helps when we tag team. But, oh the moments of shopping by myself are challenging. You are right, too many choices. I need to start going in with blinders on.

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  3. I too have struggled with this for years. I have heard food called the “Good Girl’s Drug” and I find this to be true for myself. I don’t drink, or smoke, or anything related, but I use food in a way that is unhealthy to make myself feel better. I too need to practice having more faith in God and knowing that HE can make me feel better, and that he will give me the nourishment I need. Thanks for sharing!

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    • Hi Abby, Thanks for coming by. As you probably figured out by now. I shared your posts with our community here on our blog. We have been going through a series on depression and your posts are excellent. I love that you have the reblog feature too. Thank You!!!!

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  6. So grateful for His beautiful mercies, and so undeserving as He lavishes them upon me every day! You are beautiful and oh, so brave! Someone needs to hear these words today and will be encouraged because you were brave enough to share! Free people, free other people! Blessings! #livefree

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  7. Lisa, I’m always so awed and encouraged by your transparency! We can all relate, at least I can, because I’ve done things like that myself. Oh, but praise God that He delivers us from shame. We are forgiven and free to keep on growing. I think it’s a great idea for a series.

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    • Betsy thank you so much for your kind words. I sincerely pray that God’s word empowers others to feel loved. I can’t help myself but be transparent. When God’s spirit gives me a revelation, I just have to share it. You know what I mean. You share the truth of God’s love on your post all the time.

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  8. Pingback: Vision61 Ministries – Trading In My Shame For God’s Mercies

  9. Oooh I’m glad I stopped by from the Equipping Godly Women Link up! I would love to participate in your blog series. I had to overcome some unhealthy food mentalities to lose 40 lbs that were putting too much of a strain on already weakened joints. I’m all too familiar with that guilty eating, shameful addiction and I’m glad you came clean about it: It’s NOT normal! It’s not about body shaming or a “beach body” … But I knew something was wrong in my spirit that broke communion with God.

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    • Thank You for stopping by and sharing. They say that food is the hardest addiction to overcome. Its because its in our face all the time and its such a social thing to do. We need food and can’t go without really. And I mean healthy food of course. Its hard stuff to work through. I would love to hear your story.
      You want to send me an email and we can share more back and forth? lisadesign@comcast.net

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  10. I can totally relate to overeating. It’s to the point in my case where I probably have binge eating disorder. Your message is one of hope. It doesn’t help to dwell on our guilt. It does help to turn ourselve over to God and ask Him to guide us. #FellowsipFriday

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    • God loves us in our mess, but He doesn’t stay there and He will help us get out of any pit we find ourselves in.- He has with so many other things in my life and I believe that He will show me how to overcome. thank Astrid for stopping by.

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  12. Beautifully written, Lisa. (((Hug)))
    And, that is a gorgeous picture of you too.
    Shame lives in shadows…with you bringing your pain out into the light, it helps to chase the shame away. We all have our things and our days…it’s gonna be okay. ((hug))
    ~ Brenda Ottinger

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    • Lots of hugs to you too!!! And thank you for your kind words. Your words remind me of the song from lion king – A -Kum- ma- ta-do (spelling) Means No Worries. In other words – like you said, “everything is going to be o.k.” even if it doesn’t feel o.k. – God wants us to follow truth – not our feelings. So I refuse to listen to truth – but to the voice of God. He also says everything is going to be o.k. Again thanks Brenda for coming over.

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