The Ugly Chair: Finding Good Amidst Reality by Kortney Stanis


uglychair

The chair sits in our living room. It’s so ugly, old, and well-worn.  It truly must be from the seventies.  It has an old mosaic pattern that is actually so old, that the pattern is now back in style.  Except that this chair is still hideous.  I could replace it, and hopefully, some day I will.  But for now it stands as a reminder of the life that I have chosen, a life full of chaos and kids.  It’s a life that doesn’t even have much time to shop for a new place to sit.

There are days that I hate that chair.  It stands for everything that I don’t have, that I want and desire.  The days that I have bitten into the lie that money would indeed buy me happiness, contentment and an easier life.  It’s on those days that I want to chuck the chair to the curb.

One day I realized that I needed to accept the chair for the time being.  I came to the realization that our home is not full of what many would say are valuable things.  It is full instead of the things that matter to the soul and give our house life.   Peace and joy reside in this house.  And that is what truly matters.

I realized that I need to stop looking at what I don’t have and count the good things in my life. It’s about being content, right where I am at.  There is beautiful life happening all around this house.  An old proverb says this:  “Better a meal of vegetables where there is love than a fattened calf with hatred.” (Proverbs 15:17).

There is love happening right here in these walls.  Kisses and hugs are given freely. Messy mouths and dirty diapers are taken care of.  Tummy’s are fed.  There is plenty of laughter and joy in this house.  My kids eyes sparkle when we sing silly songs and have impromptu dance parties.  We don’t love perfectly, but we love fiercely. 

Many days I have despised that chair.  It has stood for everything I have wanted but don’t have. But I’m choosing right now, in this moment, to embrace it all.  I want to embrace being a mother of three crazy kids.  And for now, that includes embracing that humble chair.  I would rather have a million ugly chairs where love is, than to have a mansion full of beautiful things without love.  I choose laughter and joy to be what I adorn my house with.  And that makes this house a beautiful place to be.

Kortney Family (1)

Kortney Stanis is a wife and mom to three wonderful kids.  She is passionate about vulnerablity, community,prayer, and the Word of God.  You can find her @kortneystanis or where she blogs regularly at  www.vulnerableprayers.com.

10 thoughts on “The Ugly Chair: Finding Good Amidst Reality by Kortney Stanis

  1. Amen! Embracing what is instead of wasting time and emotional energy on what isn’t is so important. Thank-you for the reminder! Funny thing is, when I look back to the early years of my marriage, items like that chair are what I remember more than the things that were just right or “perfect!”

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  2. Amen and Amen!! I feel stuck on looking at the things in my life that are not perfect. It’s hard to let go of my wants. Constant flesh in battle. I have to constantly pay attention to my thoughts. Praise from the bottom of my heart usually breaks that negative complaining spirit. I needed this reminder today. I woke up feeling angry and disappointed about things. And that is just that, there just things. They seem so important at the moment but in the scheme of things, there not really.

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  4. Dear Kortney, I remember those long ago days of ‘ugly chairs’. It seemed as though we were always ‘broke’ and that I was always being stuck with the ‘ugly’. At first, I resented being in that position. Then, slowly over the years, something changed. I learned to be grateful for the many ‘ugly’ things that came through my door. I began to look at each piece with ‘new eyes’ and challenge myself to beautify them somehow. As I sewed new covers for cushions, played with paint colors, tightened screws, and repaired the many broken parts, I found many opportunities to teach my little ones some great new skills. Together, we used our imaginations to create some really fun furnishings for our home. The funny thing, is that I have kept several of those old pieces. I would never trade them for something new. They are one of a kind and the memories they invoke are priceless…

    Sent from my mountain at Feathers In The Wind Ranch! ~Chirp…Chirp….Woof…Woof!~

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    • Heidi, I love that idea. And as we have to struggle with our ugly things, we can make something beautiful out of something that wasn’t so wonderful….a lot like what God does to our hearts, right? Although I haven’t done this necessarily with pieces of furniture, I have discovered doing that on my walls. I have created a lot of my own “artwork” (I use that term loosely) around my house. It really makes it a home when we put our hearts in it.

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