What Does My Son Need? Parenting Tip for Mothers of Boys by Lisa Brown


Moms want to be cared for when life gets hard.  We desire empathy and compassion.  We appreciate support from other Moms.  We accept words of affirmation and comfort.

We want to love others like we want to be loved.  But here is the thing, males don’t want us to fuss over them like we do with each other.   Have you noticed how men and boys withdraw when the women in their life get too emotional over his issues?

Males problem solve and fix things!

Before my son turned eight he would scream every time he got hurt.  One would think that his arm got cut off.  He would panic at the sight of blood.

Something changed in him and now he handles himself differently.

We were at the skate park.  I was sitting back and relaxing when a boy came up to me and told me that my son was hurt.  I was shocked because I didn’t hear him.  Was he knocked out?  I couldn’t see because he was behind one of the skate jumps.  I hurried to check things out and when I found him my heart sank.

Sitting on the ground he held his bloody knee and his eyes were red.  He was breathing hard to just keep back the tears.   I was waiting for him to panic and start screaming.  But there was silence.

He resisted my effort to help and comfort him.  Instead he said, “Mom I got this.”   He got up by himself and bandaged his wound all on his own.   Every time I offered to help he pushed me away.

I was confused.  He was my only son and I didn’t grow up with boys in my home as a child.  I found this to be very odd.   And to be honest, I was hurt and felt rejected.  But I backed off and let him have his way.

He was so brave on his own.  He showed me how capable and strong he is.  I was so proud of him.  He took good care of himself!!!

My boy is becoming a man.

I resisted the urge to overly love on him.   Instead I told him how proud I was.  I called him brave.  He smiled at me with confidence and went back out to skate.

I realized that day that my son needs me to let him grow into a young man and it’s time for me to speak his language.   He doesn’t want me to get all emotional and touchy.  Instead he desires for me to show him that I have confidence in his abilities.

Men are brave and my son is on his way!!!


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