My motherhood journey began twenty-two years ago as a single, broken nineteen year old girl.

He wasn’t even born yet and God had already used this boy to bring me back to Him and encouraged me that He would be right there taking care of us.

I will never forget the first moment that I held Kyle in my arms. It was one of the sweetest and scariest moments in my life. I realized that this child was depending on me for everything he needed for life, to live.

The first few years were difficult, painful, and flesh dying as God began to work within my heart in deeper ways while I fought Him.

All the while my son is being raised by a single mom, being watched by others as I figure out how to support him and care for him in a way he deserves. I felt very out of control but I pushed through.

One of God’s greatest provisions was my husband, Duane. We were married and he adopted my son Kyle. In my heart and mind, I figured this would make things all better.

I was able to be home more which was such a blessing. I loved having time with Kyle in ways I had missed before.

It was not all a quick fix. I was now learning how to be a wife and a mom. My husband, who never had children was learning to be a dad. I suddenly realized that I was no longer the head of the household and I needed to allow Duane to lead in the place where I had been the leader for awhile.

A few years later, my son David was born. Again I remember that precious moment when they laid him on my chest for the first time and I looked into his eyes. I held another life who was looking to me for love, security, and care.

David and Kyle have completely different personalities and different needs. This was where I began to really deepen my prayer life.

Kyle was such a mirror for me because I saw so many things of myself come out of him. It caused me to go to God in repentance many times. My emotional state was so broken. There were so many mindsets and strongholds to break through for me. I had to say sorry many times to my boys. Especially to Kyle.

Many times now I think back and long for the days when I held Kyle and rocked him to sleep. I would hold his warm body, snuggled against mine as I prayed over him.

I thank God for the sweet and lovely moments among my messy ones.

Many times these boys have spoken truth to me in ways that God used to shine His light on my heart. He has used them in the process of cleaning up the pieces of this broken heart.

God has used Kyle and David to show me unconditional love. I was there mom and even when I was messy and not nice or just dealing with my own stuff, they have given me love, words of encouragement, hugs in my pain, and have just taken time to sit with me and talk.

Kyle is now almost twenty-two and David is 16. He will be seventeen in a few months. I look back and there are so many things I would change to be a better mom.

I have been able to seek forgiveness in those times I have failed. I have been able to reassure my love for them in many ways. I know and trust that God redeems.

I pray that as my boys look back and see that mom from long ago and see the growth and change in me over the years, that they see Jesus. Only he can take that which is broken and restore it. Only He can take what satan meant for evil and use for good. Only He can heal the hearts of mankind and He has healed mine.

It is a continuing process, both motherhood and the restoration process.

Through motherhood, no matter how old my boys are, He continues to show me His heart for me and what was and is really in my heart.

Kyle and David have made my life so much richer. In the midst of my mess, God has used them to bring healing to my heart. Motherhood is a gift, no matter how it comes.

God gave me the family my heart longed for, in the way I needed it.

I have experienced love in a way I never knew possible, I have felt vulnerable in ways I never had before, and I continue to experience sweet and lovely moments of motherhood in the midst of my messiness.

Meet Desiree Taylor

My name is Desiree Taylor. I am a wife to a wonderful man, a mom to two boys Kyle and David. My heart is to share my life and heart in a transparent way to show you how my relationship with Jesus Christ has transformed me from the inside out. I pray my story and writing that you find at my blog;http://www.arenewedcreation.com, causes you to seek God more and draw closer to Him, in a way that brings transformation and freedom to your life.

 

Suggested Book Selection From Lisa Brown Creator Of Blog – Affiliated With Amazon

“Often the biggest obstacle to living out our faith is our own doubt–about our worth, our abilities, our relationship with God, and situations in our lives. A Confident Heart gives voice to the questions, doubts, struggles, and hopes so many women have. Author Renee Swope shows us how to identify, overcome, and learn from our self-doubts so that we can live confidently in God’s assurance, truth, and grace. Perfect for women’s small groups or individuals, A Confident Heart is an authentic, insight-filled and encouraging message for any woman who wants to exchange defeating thought patterns with biblical truth that will transform the way she thinks, feels, and lives.”    A Confident Heart

 

 

“Bestselling author and popular blogger offers an inspiring vision that art is what happens when welive like we are actually alive, blessing God and others in the process.”    A Million Little Ways:…

 

Desperate is for those who love their children to the depths of their souls but who have also curled up under their covers, fighting back tears, and begging God for help. It’s for those who have ever wondered what happened to all their ideals for what having children would be like. For those who have ever felt like all the “experts” have clearly never had a child like theirs. For those who have prayed for a mentor. For those who ever felt lost and alone in motherhood.

Desperate: Hope for the Mom Who Needs to Breathe

 

“Read the Wall Street Journal bestselling book that has helped close to 100,000 women embrace who they are and become all they’re created to be. 

With this heart-to-heart message, licensed counselor and certified life coach Holley Gerth invites you to embrace one very important truth–that you truly are already amazing. Like a trusted friend, Holley gently shows you how to forget the lies and expectations the world feeds you and instead believe that God loves you and has even bigger plans for your life than you’ve even imagined. 

“This is a book for every woman who needs to find her way back to hope, Jesus, and everything she was made to be in Christ. Holley Gerth is a fresh voice for every woman–she echoes the voice of our Father.” – Ann Voskamp, New York Times bestselling author of One Thousand Gifts ”            

You’re Already Amazing