“Every time I climb on to a plane, I hand over the control of my life to the pilot. I trust he knows what he is doing. I’ve learned I can trust God even more.” Quote from Brave Mom by Sherry Surratt (pg132).
I had a horrible taste in my mouth and an awful stomach ache. I thought at first it was the stomach flu. This was not a good way to start out the day.
I sat on my couch huddled over. I helplessly wrapped my arms around my stomach wishing that I would just throw up and get over it. But nothing happened.
I felt a heavy blanket on top of me, keeping me from moving and thinking clearly. It was a blanket of shame and fear.
I started listening to old tapes in my head telling me that I’m a failure and that I will never do anything right. I was feeling discouraged so I started to agree.
I sat frustrated with myself for acting out the night before. Why did I do it? Why do I do this to myself?
I remember feeling overwhelmed and worried. It seemed as if there was too much for me to figure out on my own. I had no clue how I was going to come through with all I needed to do. This made me feel anxious.
I panicked and found food to stuff in my mouth and swallow. I took no break and just kept eating until I realized that I was coping with food again. This realization didn’t make me stop. I continued until I fell asleep in bed.
I get stuck in this cycle often. Something in my life happens that makes me feel uncomfortable and I go into a fret and overeat. I know there is a better way to handle my worries.
In my mess God never fails to show up and when He does, He reminds me to cast all my cares upon Him. He assures me that I can trust Him.
I get overwhelmed with parenting and home schooling. I’m an anxious mom who worries about failing my children and messing them up. I fall apart when we have bad days.
I realize that I have a choice to lean on God for understanding or I can continue to lean on my own understandings. I can either put my trust in Him or worry.
I do so much better with anxiety when I meditate on how faithful God is.
Why do I turn to food for comfort? Because it’s what I know, it’s a learned behavior, it’s what I have done almost all of my life.
Why can’t I just get over it? Good question and I don’t have the answer. But what I do know is that I’m putting my trust more and more into God. I’m noticing that my acting out is getting less. Some days I struggle more than others.
Following is a quote from a book that I have recently read.
Brave Mom by Sherry Surratt.
“I’ve come to know that trust is the antidote to fear. When we trust God completely with our life and the lives of those most precious to us, we admit we are powerless to control the outcome, and we hand it over to the God who is in control. On a human level, it doesn’t make sense, but I know God’s love is all I need, and I trust in it. First John 4:18b says, Perfect love drives out fear.” This isn’t talking about our need to love perfectly or to be perfect in our faith, in order to not be afraid. But rather, it’s a call to experience God’s perfect love for us, the kind that covers us even when we crumble under the scary things before us. And when we do, our fear is replaced with complete trust in a faithful God.” (pg.131)
I’m overweight, not healthy, and I just feel yuck about myself. Food doesn’t help me. I’m learning to overcome by choosing to trust God. I do better when I pray and read the word.
Instead of filling up my belly with food, I’m filling up by trusting God.
Issues with food have been such a stronghold in my life. It’s a topic that is hard to talk about. And it’s a topic that needs to be talked about.
I want to write along with others who are ready to share their stories.
In the near future we will be hosting a series on overcoming food related issues. We are looking for writers to join us. Please email me if you have a story to share about your journey. I’d love to hear it. firstname.lastname@example.org
Following is a video about our series. Check it out and see what God would have you do!!!