by Lisa Brown

At age eight my mom gave me a piece of paper that said, “I am somebody because God does not make junk.”

I was feeling like nobody liked me and I wasn’t good at anything. My mom made my day and I still have this piece of paper to remind me.

I want my children to know that they are valuable and God made them. Truth helps us to be who God created us to be.

In our parenting series this month we have been talking about ways we can help our children develop a good sense of self-worth.

I would like to share what I believe Self Worth and Self Esteem are. My ideas are influenced by my experience in Early Childhood education, Teaching, Parenting, personal experience, and working as an Intern in family counseling while studying Social Work.

I believe that self-worth and self-esteem are different.

Self – Worth We look to God for our worth!

I’m secure because I am free forever from condemnation and this does not change.

I’m established, anointed and sealed by God. I am a citizen of heaven.

My worth is based on what is always true.

I’m accepted because I’m God’s child. I’m Christ’s friend. I am united with the Lord, and I belong to God.

I’m significant and I may approach God with freedom and confidence.

I’ve been chosen and appointed to bear fruit.

I’m the salt and light of the world.

I’m good enough just because I belong to the one who is good enough.

Poor Self-Esteem We look to others for approval.

Self -Esteem is based on performance.

What other people think of me.

I don’t measure up.

Healthy self-esteem We feel that we have what it takes.

I want to be a team player.

It’s important that I do my part in my community and family.

I don’t have to be good at everything, but I do need to do my best.

Self-Worth with Healthy Self-Esteem Go Hand and Hand 

We believe we are God’s servants filled with gifts and talents.

We live by faith and grace.

We forgive others as God has forgiven us.

We honor and obey those is authority.

How do we help our children?

By understanding what causes low self-esteem.

1. Children can be manipulated to perform perfectly. Teachers set high expectations and students can’t live up to it.
2. Teachers and Parents can also set too low of expectations enabling children to feel inadequate.
3. Messages from media tell us who we should be if we want to be accepted. You will only be accepted if you look like this, act a certain way, or have it all.
4. Peer pressure. If you want to belong, then you need to fit in. And if you don’t fit in, you aren’t good enough.
5. Children who are neglected don’t feel like they matter.

How Do We Raise Children To Believe In Themselves (healthy self-esteem) and Care For Others (self-worth)?

1. Teach them about God.
2. Show unconditional love.
3. Show them how to be brave.
4. Don’t waste time or money on earthly things.
5. Show children how to give to others.
6. Encourage them to face their challenges.
7. Provide them opportunities to discover their God giving gifts and talents.

Children who have parents with a good sense of self-worth and healthy self-esteem are going to be secure, have Godly values, and bring hope to a lost world.

The best thing we can do for our children is to make sure that we are healthy and we are modeling what true beauty is.  Learning who we are is a process.   A healthy family seeks truth that sticks, searches for their significance in Christ, and bears fruit in all that they do.

What are your eyes set on today? Do you seek to glorify yourself or do you live to give God all the glory. We are not here on earth to please others, but to be a living temple for Jesus to shine through.

Do our children hear us complaining or do they hear us praising God?

Children tend to value the very things we value.

What is important to you?

What would your kids say about you?

What do you want your kids to say about you?

What kind of legacy do you want to leave for your kids to follow?