“I am not a robot,” said my five year old daughter to my husband and me as we were driving her to her friend’s house. Our daughter had it with us telling her what she can and can’t do.
This wasn’t the response we were looking for. A yes sir would have been more appropriate. My husband grew up in the south and his family taught him to refer to others as Sir or Mam.
My daughter’s response didn’t come out very respectful and my husband struggled with that. I typically support my husband and back him up.
But this time I cracked up laughing because she was right. She told us.
I have to confess, she put us in our place. My husband and I were both in tired moods. We were being bossy to the kids and not patient at all.
It also was a rough day for my daughter and she was exhausted. She spent most of her day homeschooling and doing chores. When she did get to play, her brother bossed her around and yelled at her way to much.
To be even more honest with you my mom friends, sometimes I treat my kids like robots. I demand them to – FOLLOW RULES, DO WORK, CLEAN UP, SHARE, COOPERATE, BE QUIET, and I get mad at them if they don’t do it fast enough or good enough.
There is nothing wrong with expecting our kids to do well and follow rules. How we deliver our requests to them does matter. We need to respect our children with our tone and choice of words. They aren’t robots. They are little beings with big hearts that need love.
Children respond better to rules, school assignments, and chores when they feel valued.
KIDS AND MOMS NEED PEACEFUL MOMENTS TOGETHER TO CONNECT THROUGHOUT THEIR BUSY DAYS. MOMENTS THAT HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH SCHOOL, WORK AROUND THE HOUSE, OR OTHER PEOPLE.
PROBLEM – WE GET SO BUSY HOMEMAKING, PARENTING, RUNNING ERRANDS, AND GETTING ASSIGNMENTS DONE THAT KIDS AND MOMS GET STRESSED OUT AND ACT OUT IN FRUSTRATION.
We cannot overlook the importance of relationships and spending time together.
WHEN WE GIVE EACH OTHER ATTENTION WE FEEL VALUED, CARED ABOUT, IMPORTANT, WE CAN BE OPEN AND SHARE WHATS ON OUR MIND, WE CAN COMFORT AND ENCOURAGE. THE TOUCH OF A HUG LITERALLY KEEPS US ALIVE. WE NEED TO FEEL THAT WE ARE VALUED BECAUSE WE ARE LOVED AND NOT ALWAYS RECEIVE ATTENTION BY OUR PERFORMANCE.
No my sweet girl you are not a robot. You are my lovely daughter that I love spending time with. I love to hear your stories, ideas, worries, and wants. Let’s have a tea party and read a special story to your dolls.
You are my best friend and I enjoy hanging out in the kitchen with you cooking cookies and muffins. We have so much fun making dinner together and setting the table while we listen to worship music.
Oh yes my special one, I’d love to sing you a song tonight before you fall asleep.
What joy it is to paint your nails, braid your hair, and make your lips shine with mommy’s lipstick. How lovely you make mommies jewelry.
My daughter and I celebrate life as we pick flowers for one another, decorate her room and our house. We delight ourselves in good songs that we can sing. Sharing yummy chocolate just the two of us is one of our favorite pass times.
We like to look into the clouds and use our imagination. And watch ducks swim across the lake. Hand in hand we are best friends.
One of the biggest lessons I have learned about homeschooling is that my children do not perform well when their feelings are being ignored.
This year I have implemented set times to connect with them on a personal level in between their assignments and chores. I have to be intentional or I just get lost in my to-do-list.
How about you? What do you do to connect with your kid’s one on one? Help us out with new ideas.