Every Child Desires To Be Pursued And Adored


SONY DSC

SONY DSC

“I am not a robot,” said my five year old daughter to my husband and me as we were driving her to her friend’s house.  Our daughter had it with us telling her what she can and can’t do.

This wasn’t the response we were looking for.  A yes sir would have been more appropriate.  My husband grew up in the south and his family taught him to refer to others as Sir or Mam. 

My daughter’s response didn’t come out very respectful and my husband struggled with that.  I typically support my husband and back him up.

But this time I cracked up laughing because she was right.  She told us. 

I have to confess, she put us in our place. My husband and I were both in tired moods.  We were being bossy to the kids and not patient at all.

It also was a rough day for my daughter and she was exhausted. She spent most of her day homeschooling and doing chores.  When she did get to play, her brother bossed her around and yelled at her way to much.

To be even more honest with you my mom friends, sometimes I treat my kids like robots.  I demand them to – FOLLOW RULES, DO WORK, CLEAN UP, SHARE, COOPERATE, BE QUIET,  and I get mad at them if they don’t do it fast enough or good enough. 

There is nothing wrong with expecting our kids to do well and follow rules.  How we deliver our requests to them does matter.  We need to respect our children with our tone and choice of words.  They aren’t robots.  They are little beings with big hearts that need love. 

Children respond better to rules, school assignments, and chores when they feel valued.

KIDS AND MOMS NEED PEACEFUL MOMENTS TOGETHER TO CONNECT THROUGHOUT THEIR BUSY DAYS.  MOMENTS THAT HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH SCHOOL, WORK AROUND THE HOUSE, OR OTHER PEOPLE.

 PROBLEM – WE GET SO BUSY HOMEMAKING, PARENTING, RUNNING ERRANDS, AND GETTING ASSIGNMENTS DONE THAT KIDS AND MOMS GET STRESSED OUT AND ACT OUT IN FRUSTRATION.

We cannot overlook the importance of relationships and spending time together.

WHEN WE GIVE EACH OTHER ATTENTION WE FEEL VALUED, CARED ABOUT, IMPORTANT, WE CAN BE OPEN AND SHARE WHATS ON OUR MIND, WE CAN COMFORT AND ENCOURAGE.  THE TOUCH OF A HUG LITERALLY KEEPS US ALIVE.  WE NEED TO FEEL THAT WE ARE VALUED BECAUSE WE ARE LOVED AND NOT ALWAYS RECEIVE ATTENTION BY OUR PERFORMANCE.

No my sweet girl you are not a robot.  You are my lovely daughter that I love spending time with.  I love to hear your stories, ideas, worries, and wants.  Let’s have a tea party and read a special story to your dolls. 

You are my best friend and I enjoy hanging out in the kitchen with you cooking cookies and muffins.  We have so much fun making dinner together and setting the table while we listen to worship music. 

Oh yes my special one, I’d love to sing you a song tonight before you fall asleep. 

What joy it is to paint your nails, braid your hair, and make your lips shine with mommy’s lipstick.  How lovely you make mommies jewelry. 

My daughter and I celebrate life as we pick flowers for one another, decorate her room and our house.  We delight ourselves in good songs that we can sing.  Sharing yummy chocolate just the two of us is one of our favorite pass times.

We like to look into the clouds and use our imagination.  And watch ducks swim across the lake.   Hand in hand we are best friends.

clouds

One of the biggest lessons I have learned about homeschooling is that my children do not perform well when their feelings are being ignored. 

This year I have implemented set times to connect with them on a personal level in between their assignments and chores.   I have to be intentional or I just get lost in my to-do-list. 

 

How about you?  What do you do to connect with your kid’s one on one?  Help us out with new ideas.

12 thoughts on “Every Child Desires To Be Pursued And Adored

  1. What a good mom you are Lisa! It is so important to be intentional with our kids, intentionally slowing down to rest and rejuvenate together. It is the example God set with the Sabbath, and one that bridges hurts and provides hope. May you be abundantly blessed with much fruit for your wise decisions.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hi Brandy thank you for such kind words. I really like how you bring up the Sabbath. That is an excellent example and one that we sometimes overlook. Our kids love riding together in the car from the city to go up to the mountains where our church is. After church we go see Grandma for lunch. On our way home we take the scenic route through the canyons. It is awesome. And sometimes it is exhausting. Kids get a little restless and my husband and I need naps. Oh well, great memories. Thanks for being here with us.

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    • Oh so, so, true our children do hold eternal value. It is so important to let go of the idea that we have to always be doing things. It’s in those moments that we be still and soak up the laughter of the children that we experience life as God designed it to be. God says let the little children come to me and He also says that we must be like a child. It’s crazy how we sometimes get stuck on finding our worth and value in the things we accomplish. Thank you so much for coming by today.

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  2. I love that you were able to see the humor in your daughter’s remark! She is blessed to have parents that make her feel comfortable with saying how she feels. At five years of age she has plenty of time to learn to express herself respectfully to both you and your husband.

    Being a homeschool mom makes it especially challenging to balance your expectations of your kids behavior; listening and making time to be together are essential. Thanks for the reminder!

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    • Hi Wendy – My husband did end up laughing about the whole thing too later on that evening. We both are amazed how fun our little girl is and she always lightens things up. My husband and I can be kind of intense sometimes and she always reminds us through her smiles and little giggles to lighten up. She indeed is a gift. I treasure our times together. You are so right, it is so, so, challenging to balance it all out. And I’m a moody person and i feel like that gets in the way too sometimes. Some days I am easy going and some days I just want things to get done. But at the end of each day – I’m pretty sure they know that Mommy loves them no matter what. I wish I could be like Kaylee – consistently on fire lots of energy. Wendy thanks for being here with us.

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  3. Oh how true this is! I find myself getting so caught in the daily motions of life that I forget to just stop, slow down and drink in all the goodness this season of life with young kids has to offer. I like the insight that every child deserves to be pursued. We hear that a lot about how we are to love and continually pursue our spouses, but we need to be doing this with our kids as well. Great post, Lisa! Encouraged my mama heart today!

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  4. Hi Megan – It makes me happy to see that you were encouraged. That is definitely my purpose for blogging. You are so right – this is a special season for us to enjoy the goodness of our life with our young children. I don’t want to have any regrets. I want my children to have great memories and I want them to come home on the holidays and weekends when they are all grown up. I love being a momma!!! We have been blessed haven’t we. To wake up each day to kids who are excited about life and eager to learn. I just wish I had some of their energy to keep up with them. Thanks Megan for hanging out with us. Love having you here.

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  5. Really love this Lisa. I laughed with you. She is perfectly right. We need to give them choices rather than demands all the time. I saw that yesterday with my grandson. He gets his back up when asked to perform, and I will remember the robot story. He’s 3. And strong willed.
    Blessings,
    Janis

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  6. Excellent reminder, Lisa! What do I do to connect with my kids? Probably the most unhealthy, silly way I can imagine…we binge watch sci-fi shows while eating copious amounts of ice cream and popcorn. (I have a different series for each kid.) Sad, I know, but it works for us! 😉

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