Who Have I Become? – By Andrea Fortenberry


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I usually don’t write poetry, but after a particularly challenging mommy day with lots of tears, these words flowed out and just wouldn’t stop. I’ve come to learn that it’s often during these difficult days that God not only gives me something to write about, but He teaches me and gives me hope.

 

 

Who have I become?

More often than not, a Mommy undone.

A mom who yells at her kids to make them feel blame

With so many mistakes, I feel so ashamed

Some days I just don’t know what to do

I just want to throw up my hands, I feel so blue

Being a mom is so tough, much more than I thought

I feel there’s no hope for me — can I ever be taught?

I feel so alone, so tired and tried

It’s hard to admit I need help with my pride

I used to be a woman on top of it all

Nowadays, I don’t know her at all

My house is a mess, so am I inside

I’m so worn out, my brain so fried

Who have I become?

More often than not, a Mommy undone.

I don’t know how all of this anger comes up

I’m obviously not drinking from Your cup

I don’t fill up on your Word like I should

If my children would sleep in, if only they understood!

How mom needs time to be with her maker

But instead I’m so often a mover and shaker

A woman so busy to be at your feet

Who stays up too late to in the morning to meet

I walk around a zombie mom and wife

Lamenting the challenges of my life

Some days I feel more like Cruella DeVil

Than a woman who’s seeking to do your will

Who have I become?

More often than not, a Mommy undone.

I’m nothing on my own, just a crazy mess

Who, when stepping back, is incredibly blessed

I need you, God, more than I show

Please help me to change and to grow

To be what you have in mind

Change me to be loving, gracious and kind

Who have I become?

More often than not, a Mommy undone.

I’m a woman on her knees crying out to you

Needing you when my patience is through

Help me to find myself somewhere down inside

Some days I feel so lost and mired

Sometimes I wonder why life is so hard

Why my heart feels so calloused and scarred

I’m grateful you love me, despite who I’ve become

A woman so often undone

Who have I become?

More often than not, a Mommy undone.

A woman in need of mercy and grace,

To know you are near, to see your face

Please change me, don’t leave me as I am

I don’t want my life to be a big sham

Please lead me in the way I should go

Direct my steps and my words that flow

Please God, give me bread for this day

Help to take this burden away

Of becoming a woman so often unglued

Of yelling at kids and feeling so blue

Help me to feel your love

To become a woman who looks up above

Who have I become?

More often than not, a Mommy undone.

A child who so desperately needs her Heavenly Dad

On days like today when all’s gone bad

Please help me to be a woman who seeks your will

Instead of exploding and using words that kill

Help me build up and not tear down

To smile more often instead of frown

To be joyful in trials instead of so mad

Help me to seek good and not feel so bad

Lord, I need rest from the storm overhead

From hanging on by only a thread

I love you God, more than words can ever say

Please help me this day!

Who do I hope to become?

A Mommy less and less undone.

A woman who loves and has fun with her kids

Instead of one always flipping her lid

Help me to seek you, my all in all

Please pick me up—I so often fall

Please change me from who I am now

Help me to unwrinkled this furrowed brow

Help me to live the way that you do

To serve my family in a way that reflects you

Who do I hope to become?

A Mommy less and less undone.

A woman full of strength, mercy and love

A woman with a reign on her tongue

I’m so often a woman at the end of her rope

Jesus, please remind me that you are my hope

Even when I’m swallowed up in despair,

You’re watching, You’re waiting, You’re there

It’s sometimes hard to see You, to feel you near

But You see my troubles and every tear

In every day, no matter the outcome

You’re helping me to see that when I’m undone

You’re able to work on me, change who I am

To be a woman who reflects the Lamb.

Please change me into who you want me to become

A Mommy less and less undone.

Andrea - Headshot

Connect With Our Friend

Her blog: www.andreafortenberry.com

Facebook: www.facebook.com/andreabfortenberry

Pinterest: www.pinterest.com/afortenberry

2 thoughts on “Who Have I Become? – By Andrea Fortenberry

  1. What a powerful display of desperation and need. And every word rings true for me as well especially when the kids were growing up. Raising children is one of the hardest jobs we will ever have, and if not for God’s help, I think we would all be lost. Thank you for opening your heart to us so that we can all know that we’ve all been there and that there is hope. What a wonderful poem.

    Liked by 1 person

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