Have you ever noticed how our pressures in life resemble slavery?
We are constantly being pulled in all directions as busy moms. There is an inner drive in us that is bossing us around. Telling us, “Go do this or go do that.” “You have to do it.”
There is no rest. Our schedules control us and push us around. And we have gotten used to that. A matter a fact we expect to be busy or we think we are lacking as a person. We are controlled by our schedules.
Why is this?
We have a hard time saying, “no”. We don’t want to disappoint. We find satisfaction in pleasing others. We compete. We put unnecessary pressures on ourselves and for what?
We feel good when we perform well! We have it stuck in our head that we are obligated and we have to do it. Our identity is defined by what we do.
At the end of the day we feel like failures because we didn’t get everything done on the list. Our children are mad at us because we didn’t spend enough time with them. Our husbands miss connecting with us. Our spiritual life is empty. Life is hard and so very tiring.
There is no time for play, reflecting, intimacy, and prayer. We are an emotional mess and burned out. We drive and drive until we crash or run out of gas.
His pleasure is not in the strength of the horse, nor his delight in the legs of the warrior; the Lord delights in those who fear him, who put their hope in his unfailing love. Psalm 147:10-11 (NIV)
I have crashed several times. I pushed myself too far and the most important things in my life were overlooked. I realized that I was missing the mark when my son started to act out in anger and my daughter became clingy. My soul was empty and God seemed so far. I was neglecting my husband and I felt distant from him. I was frustrated and angry until I simplified my schedule and made time to rest in God’s word.
Now I don’t say yes until I seek God for direction. There is so much more freedom in my life. Now I feel like the person God intended me to be. My kids are happier and I feel a closer bond with my husband.
But first and most importantly seek (aim at, strive after) His kingdom and His righteousness [His way of doing and being right—the attitude and character of God], and all these things will be given to you also. Matthew 6:33 (AMP)
Do you miss playing with your kids, dating your husband, having family nights and finding truth in God’s word? Do you want to simplify your schedule?
Following are some things I considered when I recreated my planner.
For My yoke is easy [to bear] and My burden is light. Matthew 11:30 (AMP)
-Why do I do what I do? What is my reason for agreeing to do something? What is motivating my decisions? Do I make decisions out of guilt?
-Am I enslaved to things that are not truly critical? Would the sky fall down if I said no?
-Have I overloaded myself with other people’s expectations? Do I put people or places or things on a pedestal?
-Am I letting my want for better clothes, nicer car, bigger home, education, and fitness get in the way of paying attention to the real needs? Please don’t read this wrong. There is nothing wrong with wanting nice things and there is nothing wrong with working.
- I erased those things on my schedule that were done out of guilt, selfishness and competitive reasons.
- I scheduled in the most important things on my list to do first.
- Anything that was not critical or important I took off or put in a file for another day.
- I created margin time for fun and relaxation.
Let your character [your moral essence, your inner nature] be free from the love of money [shun greed—be financially ethical], being content with what you have; for He has said, “I will never [under any circumstances] desert you [nor give you up nor leave you without support, nor will I in any degree leave you helpless], nor will I forsake or let you down or relax My hold on you [assuredly not]!” Hebrews 13:5(AMP)
There is room now for creativity, flexibility, and unexpected emergencies. I like this stress free life much better.
What is something in your schedule that you can delete right now?