The other day we went out to lunch with some friends. Everyone was having fun and my son was too. Until he got really quiet.
I studied his face for a moment and I could tell he was about ready to cry. He wouldn’t tell me why. He tried to hold his tears in until he couldn’t. He had no words. Just tears.
Then it dawned on one of the parents that perhaps he was upset by something that was said.
We were having a conversation about our son’s hockey team. One of Justin’s team mates was moving up to another team. And this meant that his friend would no longer be playing with him.
And my son was heartbroken about that. I didn’t realize that my son had such a connection with this other child until I saw how upset he was.
He wasn’t expecting that kind of news. He was ruined for the rest of day and it pained me to see him grieve. He held his sadness in and responded to stress throughout the day with anger or withdrawing.
Does your child’s sudden outbursts of tears or anger leave you puzzled? Or are you ever left feeling completely confused by your child’s refusal to talk about their feelings?
Isn’t it difficult to comfort and soothe when they cannot tell you what they need?
Kids have a hard time identifying their heartfelt issues. When kids bottle up their feelings they become stressed and when they pop we are often times surprised.
Stress drains the living life out of children and when we recognize, acknowledge and show support we can help them soar above trials and tribulations.
To help with this we must care for our children’s souls.
At our house we pretend that we have an invisible bucket over our head. Our goal is to keep our buckets filled up with thankfulness, grace, kindness, peace, contentment, happiness, understanding, desire, inspiration, hope, and love.
In life there are things that drain our bucket. My kids are learning to tell me when their bucket is getting low or empty. I help them identify why that is.
I ask myself and my kids these following questions so that I can help them process.
-What do my kids worry about?
-What hurts their feelings?
-What do they get frustrated about?
-What things overwhelm them and tire them out?
-Am I stressing them out with my stress?
Today I would like to invite you to visit me over at The Stay At Home Mom’s Survival Guide for more of my personal insight about helping children deal with stress, identify feelings, and help them with confidence.
You can meet me here! Building Children’s Confidence