First week of a four week series on Facing and Overcoming Your Real Mom Fears
Moms often times struggle with fear that their beloved children will be snatched away.
I must have been around ten years old when I saw a show on television where a newborn was abducted from the hospital just a few hours after birth. I was horrified. I will never deliver my baby in a hospital.
When I was a little older I saw another show where two infants were switched at birth right after delivery. I’m going to keep my delivery a secret.
My fear from childhood stayed the same as an adult, but I delivered two babies in the hospital anyway.
I secretly feared that something bad was going to happen to my infant after labor. I had to control a safety system for delivery time. I made my husband promise me that he would not leave our newborn for one second.
The closer we got to the due date the more anxious I became. Finally I broke down and told my husband that I was scared that someone was going to sneak our baby away from us or that the nurses might give us the wrong baby. My husband was very understanding and comforted me. He reassured me that our hospital had a very strict policy on who can and can’t be on the maternity floor.
Our pre-delivery hospital visit went over safety rules. Rules that keep infants from getting abducted and rules that are put in place so that babies don’t get mixed up at birth. Our hospital had a system in place that guaranteed protection for newborns. I felt much better afterwards!!! I was more confident that we were in a safe place.
While I was in the hospital I kept my babies in my room at all times. I kept my eye on every move the nurses made to make sure that they followed all the hospital procedures. I didn’t sleep unless my baby was asleep right next to me. My husband stayed 95% of the time with me in our room and he reassured me that we were safe and that everyone was doing a good job caring for our newborn and me. I was able to rest in peace. I knew God was with me too.
Once I understood how hospital security worked, I was set free from irrational fears, I felt protected and I trusted the system.
Child abduction is real. It can happen. So our family has a safety system in place with rules for our six year old and four year old to follow. Don’t open the front door. You come and get Mommy or Daddy. Only go outside with Mommy or Daddy. When we are at the park you stay within the boundaries we set for you. At the store you walk next to me. If a grownup you don’t know asks you a question, you don’t talk to them, you come and get me. Never get in a car with someone you don’t know. .
You get the point, I could go on and on with safety rules for children to follow. These rules keep kids from getting kidnapped. We can face our fear and do something about it. When I leave my kids in a child care setting I make sure that they have a sign in and sign out sheet. I always show my kids who they can go to if they need help and can’t find mommy. We are starting to teach them our cell phone number.
We don’t need to let fear control us. We need to take control of fear itself. Be safe.
“Taking wise precautions and being safe is good. Letting your mind ruminate on fearful scenarios and over anxious thoughts is not.” Brave Mom by Sherry Surratt pg.61 Brave Mom is a great book for helping mothers overcome the greatest fears. I been reading it in preparation for this series and it is calming my anxious thoughts down.
For Next week I Need Your Feedback – What are some fears you would like help in overcoming? Maybe I might have some ideas to help, or there might be some great insight I can look for in Brave Mom book. Or maybe some readers might have personal experience to share with you.
What are your family’s stranger danger safety rules?
6 thoughts on “Overcoming Stranger Danger Fears – first week of a four week series.”
This is interesting. We are especially careful with my 15 year old daughter, careful where she goes. Since we live in the Middle East, the environment is much safer for kids. (Go figure! But it’s true.) But I try not to get so relaxed as to be unwise either. Even with my 17 year old son, I try to make sure he’s together with a friend when he’s coming home at night. I don’t like him walking around at night alone (even though that’s perfectly normal for our city.)
Hi Betsy! I have to ask and you don’t have to answer. Its a bit unrelated… But how is the Middle East environment safer??? Thanks for coming by Betsy!!!
Yes, I can definitely relate to this as my mind sometimes goes to a dark place and worries about something happening to my kids. We have similar rules in place but my kids are pretty social and have no issue talking to someone they don’t know. I’m ok with that, as long as I’m there. I’ve heard great things about Brave Mom and as a MOPS Co-Coordinator it is on my list to read. Yes, wise precautions, not letting our mind run wild! 🙂 Thanks for sharing.
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Thanks Abby for sharing!!!
Stranger danger… Those words and what they could imply still make my heart skip several beats, even to this day. I remember when my children were in elementary school, a program was going around to help our children learn to be safe from ” strangers”. Our little one’s finger prints were taken and we were told to keep that document in a very safe place in case it was ever needed. I remember that we were to have a secret code in place for our family. If someone, other than my husband or I were to pick up our child from school, they must tell our child the secret code word. My youngest “child” is 35 years old and I still remember the secret word, Brutisaurisrex… Gosh, I wish I could offer some good advise on this subject. One day, you just turn around and your little ones are all grown with children of their own. You feel so grateful… And then, there are your beautiful grandchildren, and you find yourself right back in that place of fear and worry.
Sent from my mountain at Feathers In The Wind Ranch! ~Chirp…Chirp….Woof…Woof!~
Heidi we are going to get our kids fingerprinted too in the next few weeks. I think that this is a really difficult subject for moms to talk about and look at. I rather talk about something else. Or for that matter write on something else. But to keep silent about a fear only makes it worse. I feel better coming out and talking about this because there are so many things we can do to protect our children. I am amazed how much people really do look out for little kids at stores, parks, and other busy places. I have seen a whole crowd of people stop when a little one is all by themselves. And everyone look and waits until little one is safe back in the loving arms of their parent. I also remember a time when Kaylee disappeared on me at the museum. I fell apart and screamed.and panicked. I had several parents and kids look for her and in seconds she was found. People heard my cry and they were desperate to find her. The stinker was shopping in the gift store. I should of known. When kids get lost I have seen security act very quickly and find kids right away. People care about kids and there are safe people always willing to help. Thank God For That. I always break down crying when I see a parent panic because they can’t find their child. Its awful to see such a fright. And it is so awesome to see people come together to help. Thanks Sis for sharing.