My husband and I would both agree that a new chapter started in our life when our first born son entered the world in July of 2008. No longer were we just us. We became parents who immediately fell in love with our gift sent from God and instantly our hearts lit up with love. Our hearts still beat wildly for Justin and his little sister today. I have a feeling that this love for them can only roar like a fearless river that has no end.
Our four day hospital stay with our first born was spent almost every minute holding our happy infant that filled our time with peace and we were so content to just rest together. We were glad to go home of course, but on the way out the door we both became aware that we were alone without the support of caring nurses.
As we buckled our tiny newborn in his car seat, fear came crashing down. Emotions swept over me as I realized that I was taking home my little one who is dependent on me. That first drive with our precious gift was indeed painfully scary.
Our first few weeks home with Justin was filled with tears, anxieties, and exhaustion. This was one of my weakest moments in my whole life. It was a time where I was unable to carry on in my own strength. I had my amazing and supportive husband. But when he went back to work I had to find strength to beat the depression that was knocking at my door. I had to lean on the one who I always believed in and that would be God.
I have struggled with depression off and on throughout my life. I have had weak moments where I needed someone to pull me out of my pit. We all have been there from time to time haven’t we, all our stories and reasons why vary.
Maybe you are there today.
I have learned that in my weakest moments, I have been blessed with caring friends and family who love me. Rest always helps. I listen to worship and praise music. I put God’s word before me. I love prayer and homemade cookies from those who understand. It always helps me when I go out with a girlfriend for some tea or coffee, to hear her say, “Me Too”. I feel strong when Jesus meets me in prayer. I feel hopeful when I put all my fears before God and leave them there.
In my weakest moments God will not abandon me. I am His and He so carefully crafted me inside of my mother’s womb, making me to be brave in Him today and every day!!!!
We can be brave in Him.