Christy Pearce is a wife, stay at home Mommy of 3, writer and speaker. Her passion is to proclaim God’s truth and make Jesus known! While Christy admits that she is far from perfect, she desires that Christ would be preeminent in all she says (writes) and does. Her blog, “Faith Like Dirty Diapers,” was born out of God using every day events—even a diaper change—to strengthen her with words of life.  More about Christy at the bottom of post.         

Grieving Life While Living

My husband thinks I’m a hypochondriac.

I say, I am just “sensitive” to my body…

It doesn’t take much to set off a flame of unrest in me, like when I was pregnant-all three times…

I had pre-eclampsia. It is a scary condition, and it definitely puts you eye to eye with your mortality.

When the doctor visited my hospital room after I had my son she said something that will forever reverberate through my “sensitive” brain: “Pregnancy is the ultimate stress test a woman’s body can endure. You have failed three out of three times. You are at increased risk for heart disease and stroke.”

Well, tell me something I don’t know. I suppose my risk is doubled then, because pretty much all of my mom’s side of the family suffered with varying levels of heart disease and many died from it.

I know deep down that no statistics or family histories make my heart beat—or stop it from working—but, my humanity often gets the best of me.

The Mystery of Life

Lately, I have suffered from a myriad of symptoms and no one can figure out the cause. Many of the symptoms, conveniently, mimic heart attack or stroke symptoms which can cause DEATH.

It’s so scary not knowing the right way to respond. I don’t want to over react and yet I also don’t want to UNDER react either.

This past week has brought my mortality before me again.

I had trouble swallowing. I had pains and uncomfortable feelings. No one doubted something was wrong. But no one knew what was causing it. Meanwhile, I was so scared that they might miss something really important.

I needed wisdom. And peace.

Then, while reading a devotional, the words “Resting in the Mystery” blinked across my radar.

Oh, how I wanted to rest.

The devotional was filled with scripture. And God took me to an amazing passage.

Isaiah 43:1-2

“Fear not, for I have redeemed you;     I have called you by name, you are mine. ² When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;     and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned,     and the flame shall not consume you.”

God reminded me that there is plenty to rest in—namely, HIM. He reminded me that I am REDEEMED and I am HIS! And that He would be WITH ME.

He didn’t tell me what was wrong with me. He didn’t say that He would take it away.

I truly found rest in Him.

Resting Even if I might Be “Laid to Rest”

My 5 year old used to be scared of pumpkins.

She wouldn’t get near them. Her wrong thoughts about pumpkins overwhelmed her with fear. That fear dictated her actions.

We had to speak truth into her to change her mind. And eventually we convinced her that pumpkins were nothing to be afraid of.

Sometimes we need someone to come alongside like we did with Gracie and help us “think right.”

My Pastor (my husband) did just that. He asked, “What are you so afraid of?”

“Is it dying? And if it is, why are you afraid to die?”

I was afraid I’d end up on some table being poked and prodded,

I was afraid my three year old might find me dead,

I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to lead my children to love Jesus.

That is certainly a mixed bag of fears, but guess what? They all have to do with my ties to this earth.

So, lately I have earned it is a good thing to grieve this life. (Even though at the moment I am still alive and kickin’!) There is an eternity ahead, and it won’t be spent here. I go through my grieving by seizing. I only have this moment in time to live until the next—if it comes.

I want to make my Heavenly Father happy in all I do. I have to trust God to do His job while I do mine.

It all boils down to trust. I can’t see the future. I can’t see inside my body to figure out what is wrong with me. Only God knows when my race on earth is complete. And whether I live or die, it is ultimately God who takes care of “my” children. Children that are on loan from God and ultimately belong to HIM.

These are all scary places to go alone. But that is just it—I am not going alone!

So grieving this life now helps us shed a layer of earth. It results in a closer walk with the Lord. As we release our grip on the temporal we able to harness the eternal.

Check out an encouraging post by Christy http://faithlikedirtydiapers.com/2015/03/06/healing-the-broken-bedroom-of-the-frigid-wife/

Christy would love to connect with you! Website: faithlikedirtydiapers.com Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/faithlikedirtydiapers?ref=hl,

Twitter: @christylouhoo