Being a Mom sometimes feels like being a Drill Sargent. There are those days where I have to remind myself that I’m the parent and not their friend.
They may think that my rules are one-sided, but their attitudes are lopsided.
I will not argue with my six and five year old. It would be so much easier to give into their demands. But they need to know that rules are non-negotiable.
I fear that my kids will go astray if I don’t teach them in the way they should go. I believe a home needs boundaries and a firm foundation to stand on.
Our solid rock that we live on is the Holy Bible.
I will do whatever it takes to protect them from the snares of this world. Our world is filled with traps just waiting for my loved ones to fall in. They will literally be devoured if they don’t know what to watch out for or how to act in defense.
I want my children to learn to fight for themselves, but first they must see that they are worth fighting for. Boundaries keep children safe. When children feel safe they feel valued and cared for.
What are Boundaries?
There are many ways to define boundaries. It’s a dividing line. Or border, frontier, borderline, partition, and fence line, a cutoff point. They can be described as limits, parameters, margins, and edges.
Not only do we have landmark boundaries, but we have personal boundaries.
A personal boundary is where one begins and where one ends. Therefore a person needs to know where they came from, who they are, where they are going and where they will end up when they get there.
Boundaries help us live within our parameters. One must know their cutoff point, protect themselves by standing firm, say no to temptations, fears, and peer pressure. A person with boundaries accepts who they are, cares deeply about the well-being of others as themselves.
Our family has a boundary line that is an invisible fence that goes around our home. It has a swinging gate that we walk in and out of daily. We are in the world but not of the world. Harm and evil are not allowed to come through our gate.
We live by 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 (NIV)
4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres.
So far everything that I have said is pretty amazing. But you may be asking – how can I apply these truths to my family life? I’m asking the same thing by asking more questions.
- Do they realize that they are created by God?
- Do they understand that they are sinners and that they need Jesus to save them?
- Do they put their hope in eternal life?
- Do they know that they are here to do good works for God?
Why are these four questions important?
I believe that if they have a strong sense of what they believe and why they are here, they will be able to say “no” to those things that go against their personal convictions.
- Do I show them through my actions true love, respect, and when I mess up do I apologize?
- Does grace abound in our family life?
- Am I true to my word?
I believe that these three questions are important because children live by what they experience. Hopefully they will pick and choose their relationships wisely because of the love that we show them.
I’m learning that my kids aren’t always going to like me. They will rebel against rules. I will not always like the way the react to my requests.
We may get grumpy with one another. But at the end of the day, we choose to snuggle in love and forgiveness. My hope is that when my kids grow up we will be best friends then and they will love coming home for visits.