This week is a tough one. Too many hard questions are coming to a head in my life and in my prayers. I am weary from the asking, waiting, and wandering. I didn’t have any words at all to share with you guys because I don’t have any answers for the hard things in life, mine or yours. I laid down to take a nap the other day, frustrated after trying to make words happen. The Lord kept me awake with these words, so I thought I would share them with you. We live in hard times. There are no easy answers, but there IS a truth that is bigger than our hurting and questions. CS Lewis referred to it as “a deeper magic.” I don’t have anything else to hold onto. But it is enough.

Christ, and Him Crucified

by Beth Biggers

Bigotry, hate, injustice:

Reeking newsfeed, dripping with venom and ignorance and the hurt of Big throwing Small to the ground; they insist she had it coming.

I do not understand their blindness.

Christ, and Him crucified.

Barren:

Innocence and faithfulness are rewarded by fear, disease, and death while sinfulness breeds life and health.

This does not fit into my theology.

Christ, and Him crucified.

Depression:

I am a clamorous thorn in the flesh, too annoying and weak for those I love and respect – Killer of conversation, misser of points, Briar in the heel am I.

I want to hide from the truth in the Lie.

Christ, and Him crucified.

Abuse:

Mind, heart, body, and trust violated until you push me down and I push myself down farther.

I can’t decide who I hate more.

Christ, and Him crucified.

Vengeance:

Can I forgive when I have barely discovered the courage to be angry?

I don’t want to give you any more satisfaction.

Christ, and Him crucified.

Death:

I hold a tiny body in my hands, gone before it lived. It doesn’t make sense and I don’t understand.

Sometimes, You make me angry.

Christ, and Him crucified.

Understanding:

I demand that a square peg fit into a round hole. It doesn’t work. It’s not supposed to work.

Your wisdom looks like foolishness.

Christ, and Him crucified.

Church:

A powerful, floundering, beautiful mess of wonderful ugly and hope. I want to amputate, but I can’t stay away.

Your Body needs every part.

Christ, and Him crucified.

Wandering:

My heart in the desert, desperate for a refuge, a home. No timetable, no roadmap, no compass of fire and cloud.

Either You’re ignoring me completely, or this will prove invaluable.

Christ, and Him crucified.

Truth:

Everything I hold slips through my fingers. Even my ideas about God can’t be relied upon.

All I have and know for sure:

Christ, and Him crucified.

Hope:

Even if nothing remains but that pinprick of Light in the crushing Dark, it cannot be overcome.

It is enough.

Christ, and Him crucified.

Victory:

I lash myself to the mast because Death, Disease, Depression, Injustice, Unfairness, Desperation, and Doubt

DO

NOT

WIN.

I have seen the end of the Story.

Christ, and Him Crucified.

Words:

May I never come among you with pretending words for itching ears.

I know one thing, I know it completely, I know nothing more:

Christ, and Him crucified.

Glory:

My flesh is too soft, heart too dark, gifts not good enough. But I am so loved.

Christ in me, the hope of Glory.

Christ, and Him crucified.