When it’s discovered that I homeschool, I inevitably get the comment, “You must have a lot of patience.” This could be furthest from the truth—I move fast and I expect my people to move fast as well.
Homeschooling, by it’s nature has taught me much about the day to day working out of patience, but when I consider the return on this long term investment into my kids’ hearts, I am terribly impatient.
The closer I get to launching my oldest and the ones behind her, the more I question. Will they make Christ their own? Will they follow God with passion and purpose? How much will my screw-ups affect them? Do they remember the screaming and the yelling? Will they remember the times I asked their forgiveness? Will the foundation I laid be solid in order to withstand their personal journeys?
These questions and their unknown answers are enough to cause sleepless nights and the micro-managing mama to emerge and the “Homeschooling by Heart” mama to vanish.
I need the words of Psalm 37:7b and 9a
“Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him…those who wait for the Lord shall inherit the land.”
Patience comes easy when I rest in the Lord, in his will, in his promise, his faithfulness and love. But I wrestle with the resting.
Resting in God is to be still before him. When I wrestle my thoughts, wishes, fears, and hopes into silence, I experience the peace that passes all understanding and my impatience is traded for patience.
As homeschool mamas, we have much responsibility. We are responsible for our children’s education, socialization, discipleship, and preparation for life lived as responsible adults in society. These pressures can cripple us with worry.
We ask ourselves questions like: Am I enough? Are my kids enough? Did I hear from God or was it just me? Am I crazy to venture down this unknown path?
These questions are normal, but when I forget to rest in the Lord, I believe that I’m not enough and that my kids are lacking.
Homeschooling by heart must include rest.
It’s the kind of rest that covers our crazy busy days when we’re running from one child to the next, juggling four separate grades, four different sets of lessons and activities, realizing that supper should have been started two hours ago, and somehow attempting to overcome the laundry that wants to vanquish us.
Rest begins with a physical posture of humility and continues with an attitude in my heart, hence the “Homeschooling by Heart” series.
So much goes on in my heart and what’s in my heart affects my physical life. Will I: H—hear God’s voice?, A—accept his limitations?, E—endure through the tough days?, and R—rest in him? Will I homeschool by heart?
Mamas need patience, not only in the day to day living, but also in the year to year growth that God wants to do in us and in our children. Resting in God is the key to developing patience while waiting for him to reveal himself to us and our kids.
Will you bring the noise in your heart to him, silence your worries as you kneel before him and rest in his will, his promises, his faithfulness, and his love? You will find the best kind of rest in the silence of resting in him.
Wrestle the resting and you will find rest.
To read other posts from this series –
Jessica Van Roekel is a woman on the journey to wholeness through brokenness. She believes that through Christ our personal histories don’t have to define our present or determine our future. Her greatest desire is to see people live this ‘God-life’ with all the power and grace that God provides. Jessica lives in a rural community with her husband and four children. She leads worship on Sundays, but seeks to be a worshiper every day. You can connect with her atwww.welcomegrace.com and on Facebook: www.facebook.com/JessicaVanRoekel
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