Every family has their own set of reasons why they choose to do homeschooling. I have desired to be a home school teacher ever since I was an adolescent. I had some friends that were homeschooling and the idea of it captivated my heart.
This desire to teach my children is indeed a calling on my life.
But just like any calling in our life there are challenges. The kind that shake our confidence. Or the ones that make us wonder if we heard from God.
Homeschooling is a place for my kids to learn as they live. They are encouraged to be creative. We take into account their learning style and we meet their educational needs independently. Skills are developed as we work one on one.
They have playgroups, participate in clubs and classes. We take vacation time whenever family comes in from out of town. We visit museums, go to the library, and hang out at the zoo.
Our days go fast. I think my kids are smart. They are capable, successful, and full of life. I’m living my dream.
And then there are many days where the days don’t go fast enough. There are mornings where I don’t want to teach. There are times where I go to bed and cover up my head with dreadful worry that things are not going to get better.
I never imagined that there were going to be days filled with timeouts, yelling, crying, arguing, tantrums, and throwing my hands up in the air.
There have been days where the kids don’t want me to teach. They just want me to be mommy and play. Somedays they don’t try to do their best. They complain and whine instead.
They doodle around and act like they don’t hear me. Distractions are non-stop. Homemaking gets put to the side and dishes stack up high. At the end of the day nothing gets done.
There have been seasons where there are more stressful days then blissful days. And it’s in those heart wrenching moments that I have learned what my weaknesses are.
- I’m not patient enough.
- I’m an idealist
- I don’t like it when my kids are mad at me.
I’m a firm believer that whatever our weaknesses are they will eventually become our greatest strengths.
I have disciplined too roughly. I have leaned towards blaming everyone else when things are not going smoothly. I have struggled with feeling guilty when I say no.
Somedays I have felt like a sinking boat.
There have been a few times where I just went through the motions of our school day and shared no real genuine emotions.
There were many days where I faked a hug and I lied by telling others that everything was going well with the kids.
I have hated myself for my reactions and I have overlooked the power of grace.
In desperation I have felt like letting go of my dream to homeschool. And no matter how hard things get, I can’t. My vision for my family runs very deeply within my soul. I’m not a quitter. I have failed miserably and I have forgiven myself over and over again.
My faith in God keeps me running the course that I know He has set before me.
Today I’m more patient.
Today I’m more flexible.
Today I’m O.k. if my kids get mad at me.
Now homeschooling is rich with success. Now I smile and mean it! Now we laugh more than argue!!!
It was a rough start. I changed and the Kids are blooming.
Nothing worth doing is going to be easy. There has to be challenges in order for growth to happen.
Maybe today you feel like giving up. Let me encourage you to keep going.
Trust God to show you how.
Walk by faith and not by sight.
Ask friends for help.
Be willing to change your ways for the better.
Don’t let go and pray instead!
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