When Things Don’t Go Our Way – Encouragement For Wives by Lisa Brown


I haven’t always acted like a mature grown up in my marriage. I get an idea in my head how something should be and I act like an impatient toddler when I don’t get my way.

My poor husband has put up with me and loves me dearly even when I’m being selfish.

Sometimes my honey to-do-list has been unrealistic or unfair.  Sometimes I have overlooked the wonderful things he does for our family.

There are times that he says he is going to do something and it doesn’t get done for a very long time or not at all.   I’m guilty of this too.

Waiting for my husband to make a decision is sometimes frustrating.  And I’m sure he gets annoyed with me when I can’t make up my mind.

It’s hard to be patient.

In my ten years of marriage I have shown patience and impatience.  I have loved my husband in the messy parts of marriage and I have frustrated the heck out of him with my complaining.  I’ve been an emotional roller coaster with very little self-control.  I’ve disrespected him in times of disappointment.

Impatience is filled with selfishness.  Wives who complain over every mistake is causing unnecessary tension in her home.   She is hard to live with.    She treats her husband like he is a failure and disappointment.   It frustrates and tires the heck out of the man who is constantly criticized by his wife.

We have had many misunderstandings and we are both guilty for making assumptions.  We have argued passionately over heartfelt issues and I have learned that my husband does care about my wants and needs.  He will think and plan before he takes action.  I use to worry that things were not going to happen if I didn’t push him for it.

Finally after ten years of marriage I have realized that reminding my husband to get things done in my timing and my way was showing him disrespect.   Now I support him in his efforts.

Patience is love in action.  In difficult situations a patient wife is slow to anger.  She responds with hope and peace. She waits for understanding before speaking.  She doesn’t assume or blame.

He who is slow to anger has great understanding [and profits from his self-control] But he who is quick-tempered exposes and exalts his foolishness [for all to see].  Proverbs 14:29 (AMP)

Sometimes there are bumps in the road.  It’s hard to see beyond the horizon.  The twists and turns make me dizzy.

Sometimes I still want to cry, scream, demand my way, get even or run away.  Instead I now go to God and tell Him what I think.  God can handle my complaining.  He forgives me when I’m being selfish.  God understands me.  He has my back.

Impatience is disrespect in action.  This is where wives let their emotions dictate how they should react to a problem.  Impatience fills the air with anger.  She has a hard time forgiving and makes false judgement towards her husband.

 See that no one repays another with evil for evil, but always seek that which is good for one another and for all people. 1 Thessalonians 5:15 (AMP)

God reminds me to be still, wait, rest, look up, and trust in Him to level out the bumps and make straight paths.   God is constantly doing a new thing in us and he is working out the details in our marriage and family.  No need to fuss and worry.

It’s better to pray for our husbands than to nag them.

Patience gives our husbands rest.  Wives build their husbands up by respecting them even when they make mistakes.  It’s foolish for wives to expect their husbands to perform with perfection when things don’t go their way.  Husbands need their wives to give them space to grow and fail.  Men are problem solvers and when they mess up they want their wives encouragement not disapproval.   They will correct the problem if we just give them space and time.

Dear Wives I know it’s hard to be patient.  It’s frustrating when our hopes are put off.  Sometimes we go through seasons of grieving because things don’t go our way.   But let’s not give up hope.   Let’s cherish and love the man that God gave us.  Let’s show respect in the good times and hard times.

The things that we go through in marriage are sometimes unfair.  Our husbands will screw up.  Wives we will screw up too and when we do we desire grace from our husbands.  Let’s give as we wish to receive.

Grace speaks volumes in marriage.

Marriage has been good for me.

I’m stronger in God now than I was before marriage.   I put more faith in Him and seek Him to fill me with grace, mercy, and peace.  I’m becoming the kind of wife God created me to be.

Showing appreciation and having a thankful heart has changed me from the inside out.

Gratefulness keeps us lighthearted and fun to be around.   Let’s dance with our husbands through the storms and let’s stay on his side no matter what.  Let’s face life difficulties as a partner and friend.  Our husbands desire our respect and encouragement.

Hang In There.  And don’t beat yourself up when you mess up.  We all do.

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